BIOGRAPHY, so far... 

Abandons Venice for the San Fernando Valley.

Tastes liver for the first and last time.

Disciplined for calling mutes “dumb.”

Purchases own baseball uniform.

Honorary Bar Mitzvah.

Finally stops coughing.

Lusts after Bob Dylan’s cousin, who always sits three chairs away.

Becomes avid fan of folk music.

Discovers Duchamp.

Abandons architecture for lucrative future in fine art.

Art critic suggests a job at the Post Office.

Reads Coleridge and Blake.

Passes up scholarship as a matter of conscience.

Sorts pornography by zip codes.

Objects to war on logical grounds and washes dishes instead.

Gives up hitch hiking.

Befriends ventriloquist.

Develops curious fascination with sign painters.

Marries and virtually ends Broadway dancer's career.

Rejects the divine for short term happiness.

Grows overtly reclusive.

Children survive to adulthood.

Pursues a reputation of anonymity

and the company of other oxymorons.